Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.
(disclaimer: i actually don’t feel like writing about my year and posting on facebook or something for some losers to see. but i do want to look back, so i’ll answer these questions and keep them here, where i feel at ease to do so. if you’re not interested i’m sorry but keep scrolling :))
1: What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
i dyed my hair. i didn’t allow people that i loved at the time to step all over me for their sake. i took and send nudes. i let go of things i didn’t want it to. i actually tried. i dated a friend. i kept a video journal all through the year (that hopefully nobody will ever see). i asked for help. i faced a lot of fears. i tried sushi hahahaha
2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
in january i made a list of 50 things to live by and things i wanted to do. the weren’t exactly resolutions and they were not meant to be about 2014. i kept them in mind ever since and i planned to keep doing that.
3: Did anyone close to you give birth?
no, but my uncle’s wife is pregnant so i get that to look forward to haha
4: Did anyone close to you die?
in january a acquaintance died in his twenties. we were never really close but i liked him a lot and his death affected me awfully. i think about him all the time. my mom’s godmother also died and although she was really old and had alzheimer, i felt her death deeply. i really really loved that woman.
5: What countries did you visit?
none.
6: What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
sex hahahah a most consistent source of income because i can’t handle these freelance jobs anymore. i want to care about myself and my health more, too.
7: What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
there are plenty of those, much more that i cared to explain or detail. they are also really personal.
8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
i lost 26 pounds “by accident” trying to be healthier and i did got a lot healthier. i stopped caring more about my ex boyfriend than about me.i got back to treatment.
9: What was your biggest failure?
i didn’t act and speak when i should have. “my biggest regrets are the things i didn’t do” kind of crap.
10: Did you suffer illness or injury?
my cholesterol was crazy high and my liver suffered. but i exercised and dieted madly and got my health back on track (and lost 26 pounds in the process, as previously stated). this and a few other pre-existing conditions HAHAHAH also, i had sinusitis for the first time in my life and it REALLY sucked.
11: What was the best thing you bought?
all the comes to mind are some books and some clothes. i didn’t spend big money on anything (obviously it was because i never own big money HAHAH). but the money best spent was on two quick trips to visit some friends.
12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?
i don’t know, dude. i have some badass friends and almost all of them made me incredibly proud this year. my family is always awesome as well. but if i’d had to choose someone to highlight it would DEFINITELY be my little sister, who i saw bleed and sweat for a bigger and very noble cause all year. she carried the world on her shoulders, without being asked to, just because is something she does naturally, with grace and poise. and it brings her pain and it’s never easy, but she does it because in her very core that’s what she knows best: to help people. she volunteers as coordinator in a non profit organization that helps to build communities from within, improving lives and creating new perspectives for people in need. but she does it 24/7, while graduating in college, helping her friends and family and ALWAYS feeling like she should be doing more. just because she REALLY believes in her project. she’s an inspiration, and always looking flawless and being humble.
13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?
no one that i would care for enough to write about.
14: Where did most of your money go?
food, beer, online games and cigarettes, the essentials.
15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
infinitely happier, a lot thinner (i was weighting something about 160 pounds, i am now 134), and poorer.
18: What do you wish you’d done more of?
talked about my feelings and trusted people who have been in my life for ages.
19: What do you wish you’d done less of?
being alone by choice. worried about imaginary monsters. overthink.
20: How did you spend Christmas?
with my family in my grandma’s house.
21: Did you fall in love in 2014?
i wouldn’t call love.
22: What was your favourite TV program?
this year i fell in love with bob’s burger, brooklyn 99, flight of the conchords and that 70’s show. i was obsessed with the office and the mindy project as well, but i think i started seeing these two in 2013.
23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
take a chill pill please!!! i don’t hate anyone. but there is someone that i don’t ever want to see again and i don’t like even listening to his name and i didn’t feel like this in last december. (i haven’t seen him or talked to him since april and i hope it stays this way).
24: What was the best book you read?
i don’t know about the best, but the one who made a bigger impact in my life and that i most enjoyed reading was eleanor and park, by rainbow rowell.
25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
cole porter’s song book.
26: What did you want and get?
i wanted to get better, and i got better. and a few other things that are way too personal.
27: What did you want and not get?
i wanted to leave my parents house once more and it didn’t happen. i also wanted to visit my old town more, and i only did it twice : ( i wanted to watch the world cup with my friends and it didn’t happen either. and there are some other personal things that i don’t feel like talking about.
28: What was your favourite film of this year?
i can’t remember half of the movies i watched, but i really enjoyed this is where i leave you, they came together, date and switch, 22 jump street (sorry), how to train your dragon 2, the fault in our stars and the boxtrolls. i’m most definitely forgetting a lot of movies, but these are the one that stuck with me.
29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
first thing that comes to mind: joao capusso. all my friends, actually, but he was a new and awesome addition. my skype sessions with gisele. the dozens of new followers i got in here (call me shallow, but the fact is you guys made me feel appreciated and welcomed and this became a home to me). when i stopped sharing my life on facebook. my therapist.
the effort i put in loving and taking care of myself more. the youtube community. all the nights in my sister house with all the adorable weirdos that hang out in her place. the endless dancing nights with her and our friend guilherme.
30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
trashy.
31: What kept you sane?
my spiritual beliefs.
32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
hank green, as usual.
33: What political issue stirred you the most?
the presidential elections almost drove me insane.
34: Who did you miss?
the person i missed the most was someone that i saw frequently, but our relationship was so fucked up and confuse that i really missed the easier times.
35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
you only have to call something a failure if you don’t learn nothing from it.
36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“we’re all bored. we’re all so tired of everything. we wait for trains that just aren’t coming. we’re so young but we’re on the road to ruin. we play dumb but we know exactly what we’re doin’. we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom. honey, life is just a classroom. every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream. we need love but all we want is danger. we team up then switch sides like a record changer. the rumours are terrible and cruel but, honey, most of them are true. heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly. we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet. baby, we’re the new romantics and the best people in life are free.” cheesy as it sounds, this song sums up everything i felt and went through this year : )
